Letters - My Dear Cousin, Yours in Sympathy, Alice E. Anderson

Dear Reader,
      The next scores or so of posts will be not my own writings, but correspondences of my Great-Grandfather Leon Gould. This letter is from his cousin, Alice, whom he later married! Great-Grandpa Leon had a large family (of 11 children), and journeyed as secretary to Presiding Patriarch Alexander Smith (son of Joseph & Emma) in the RLDS church before eventually joining the Church of Christ (TL) and becoming an Apostle. His descendants have been blessed with a rich spiritual heritage and many true family accounts of  what can only be called miracles. If you read these letters and are interested in reading more of the Gould family history, look for a book titled "Trek of Faith" by Peggy Tucker. These letters contain the original spelling mistakes and have not been corrected. Feel free to print and keep these letters in your own family history files if you so wish. In the future, a book of Leon's writings will be made available. Enjoy!

                                                                                                           Bemidji, Minn.
                                                                                                            Aug. 9. 1899
My Dear Cousin;-
Are you still looking for a letter or have you given up ever getting another one? I received your letter a week ago today and have been trying to decide what to write in answer. Leon if I could give such a good love now as you are ,peace, ambition, happiness love instead of misery and pain I would ----(too dim to read)---- glad to do so. Leon I from ----(dim)---- know no more what real love means than a child ten years old. I have had my fancies, but I never cared enough for any man, so that should he have asked me, I would have consented to be his wife.

     Why is it that you should have such affection for me when I cannot return it. I do not understand. It seems to me there is a mistake somewhere. If it is God’s will that we should share each other’s lot through life then I have not found out yet that I love you and if it is not His will it seems a pity that you should be made to suffer so long.

     Do not give up entirely please. It realy does not seem to me that in real life, disappointment in love could make a person so miserable, so hopless. That seems more like a novel. And to think that I am the cause of it.

     My daily prayer for you is that you may find peace and happiness in the near future. I had never had any desire to get married yet, it may be that is the reason I have never loved as most girls do before my age. Of course I have always thought that I would not appreciate being an old maid. Your writing to me does not give me the blues. It only warns me because everybody does not understand out affairs and they think I am coorsponding with you and making you think I love you and then I cast your love away lightly. That makes hard feelings towards me.

     I do not cast your love off so light as you say. I have thought and worried more about it this last week than ever before but have not decided that I can give you my whole love and unless I can do that I will never marry anyone. Even if we cannot be more than friends or more than cousins to each other, can we not be that much? Is the any need of our being strangers to each other? I have no desire for any such a thing.

    This is a queer world and I am far from being satisfied with myself.

     Well I am at Barny Neye’s tonight, I came here Sunday. Took the examination Monday and Tuesday.. I tried for a Second Grade but will probably get left.

     The boys and Myron are haying. I spent last week working with blue berries. We “kids” have selected some land near Freem’s for Pa.. Nona is writing too. She made a new “mash” while at the Reunion. Omar Nunn and she correspond since her return.

     The Methodists are going to have a Sunday School picnic here near Bampy’s tomorrow. Did intend to have it today but it rained so they gave it up.

     I weigh seventeen pounds less than I did in the winter. 

     Went to church Sunday evening but much rather it had been a L.D.S. meeting. I have applied for the school in our district. The one in which Myron lives.

     Well as Nona has finished her letters and it is ten o’clock I guess I had better quit.
Nona sends her best respects and says if you see Walter say “Hello” for her.


                                                                                             Yours in Sympathy
                                                                                              Alice E. Anderson
(transcribed by Samii S. Gould)