Friday, December 21, 2012

Letters - Don't think I'm crazy, I am deeply in love, Leon

Dear Reader,
      The next scores or so of posts will be not my own writings, but correspondences of my Great-Grandfather Leon Gould. This letter is to his cousin, Alice, whom he later married! Great-Grandpa Leon had a large family (of 11 children), and journeyed as secretary to Alexander Smith in the RLDS church before eventually joining the Church of Christ (TL) and becoming an Apostle. His descendants have been blessed with a rich spiritual heritage and many true family accounts of  what can only be called miracles. If you read these letters and are interested in reading more of the Gould family history, look for a book titled "Trek of Faith" by Peggy Tucker. These letters contain the original spelling mistakes and have not been corrected. Feel free to print and keep these letters in your own family history files if you so wish. In the future, a book of Leon's writings will be made available. Enjoy!

                                                                                                                                  Feb. 1, 1900

Dear Alice:- I feel I must write a few lines, or more. And a dream I dreamed last night strengthened that feeling. The dream troubles me, and I will tell you what it was. In the first place I dreamed of getting a letter addressed in your handwriting so I shall look for one. But the one that worries me is this. I thought I was in a room, standing by the window when presently, you came in. You held out your hand and I took it. Your face was radiant and covered with smiles, and I seemed to read love in your eyes. Suddenly your eyes filled will tears and you began shaking your head and seemed to be telling or saying something that distressed you, and gradually seemed to be getting farther from me, though, I still held your hand. The sight of your tears and sorrow filled me with anguish and I awoke. The dream may mean nothing; I hope it does not, but I was unable to sleep any more and have felt that trouble of some kind was coming to us. I have wondered if it meant that you would find that you did not care for me. I could endure most anything but that. If you should make such a decision, I beg and plead that you will not do it hastily.

    Are you any better satisfied regarding the Lord’s will concerning us? There is one thing we must remember, in seeking the Lord for wisdom. It is this If the Lord is willing that we should be united in marriage the other power will use his influence to the contrary. And if the Lord is not pleased, the other power will use his influence in the opposite direction. Two influences have been at work. Can you decide which is right? A few years ago our parents would have objected strongly to the thought of our marrying. Some influence has changed their minds. Some influence has been at work to lead us both in different paths. Would it have been better? Was it right or wrong? If wrong, is the other influence wrong too? I think your Mother would be willing to aid us in deciding with her prayers. If you think best I will endeavor to lay the matter before her.

     Alice I love you earnestly, and truly, and I have said to myself many times that you were the sweetest, best and truest, (as well as the most beautiful, to me, as I have told you before) of women. Don’t think I’m crazy, I am not; but I am deeply in love.

     It will be a happy day for me when you can tell me that you are satisfied and can give me your love.
I have been contented and happy for the last few weeks, and the change in my feelings have been so great that I scarcely know how to act or what to say.

    Winnie told me a few days ago that Bertha asked him, when he was down, how you and I were getting along. He told her that he guessed we were not getting along very well, and she says,- “Well there will be a change there, I know there will be a change there.”
Hoping I have not written too much I will close, wishing you all the happiness possible for your good.
                                                                                                             with Love
                                                                                                             Leon Gould

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