Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Letters - Dearest Alice, women have better judgement in deciding such matters, LAG
Feb. 17, 1900
I will try to put the matter concerning that problem I asked you this afternoon in as plain a light as possible, and I hope you will be able to comprehend my meaning whether I am able to express it fully or not.
One reason why I want your opinion is because I believe women have better judgement than men in deciding such matters.
I will now give you my reasons for thinking of going to Indep. It looks to me now, that it will be difficult to make a home here that I could ask you to share or that you would be willing to share. And I can’t think of a home without you. Whenever I think of a home of my own, I feel that it would be a sad one, if not unbearable without you.
I have some talent in the line of Shorthand work and down there I might have a chance to improve it and make use of it, perhaps, to the greater advantage. Such being the case, I might be able to provide a suitable home where we could be happy, if the Lord is willing, when I might fail here. I don’t know as I have talent for anything else.
Of course, if I went, I should not in-tend to relinquish my homestead unless circumstances justified it at the end of six months, and I thought I could do better there than here.
Now for the reasons on the other side. I would like to hold the claim. If I could make a home here, with you, I should be perfectly contented, and as to happiness, I wont attempt to say how happy I would be.
I think the out-doors work would benefit me. If I hold my claim I want to stay here and put in my time improving it, and make use of the means it would take to go down there and back.
Perhaps it looks foolish, from one point of view to think of going down there.
Now I have tried to tell my thoughts and if you can, I would like to have you decide. Nothing would suit me better, if the Lord’s willing that we twain should be one, than to have a home here, if you wished it, near your folks. You may be sure that I would use my best efforts to carry out your wishes, and which ever way you decide I will abide by it.
To change the subject, I have been wondering why you asked me that question concerning young men in the ministry.
I’ll tell you why I don’t think he ever made that kind of a statement. The Lord ordained marriage. He saw that man needed a help-meet and he gave him a wife for that purpose. It seems to me that a minister would need a help-meet as much if not more than any other man.
Do you remember hearing of Elder Anthony? I think his initials are J.R. He does lots of writing for the “Herald”. I have heard that he was called to the ministry while he was a single man, but like men are apt to do, he fell in love with a woman, a widow. But he thought that as long as he was an Elder and dependent upon the church for support he ought not marry her. But it seems that he was wrong in that for the Lord spoke to him through the gift of tongues at a prayer meeting and told him that sacrifice was not required. So they were married.
Alice, I have had the heart-ache at times during the past week because it seemed that you were no better satisfied as to whether you could or should give me your love. It seems to me that my future happiness as well as usefulness depends upon that. If the Lord would be displeased with out marriage I don’t understand why he should have let me love you as I have. If he should indicate that we were not for each other, I don’t know how I could stand it. I don’t believe I could unless he took away the sting. I have tried not to say too much to influence your mind the way I believe because I wanted to leave your mind free to act perhaps I have said too much in this letter, I hope not. Hoping and praying that we may be given wisdom to decide these matters right I am your friend till death.
I don’t know when I will see you again. May be not before the 25th. I may come over some evening next week. I don’t know when I shall be able to talk with your Mother. Maybe there is no chance to talk with her alone.
L. A. G.
(transcribed by Samii S. Gould)