The next scores or so of posts will be not my own writings, but correspondences of my Great-Grandfather Leon Gould. This letter is to his cousin, Alice, whom he later married! Great-Grandpa Leon had a large family (of 11 children), and journeyed as secretary to Alexander Smith in the RLDS church before eventually joining the Church of Christ (TL) and becoming an Apostle. His descendants have been blessed with a rich spiritual heritage and many true family accounts of what can only be called miracles. If you read these letters and are interested in reading more of the Gould family history, look for a book titled "Trek of Faith" by Peggy Tucker. These letters contain the original spelling mistakes and have not been corrected. Feel free to print and keep these letters in your own family history files if you so wish. In the future, a book of Leon's writings will be made available. Enjoy!
Jan. 23, 1899
As there seems to be no likelyhood of having an opportunity to talk with you alone, as I would wish I must write. I am getting desparate Alice, and have been in suspense so long that the burden is getting to be more than I can bear silently. I love you, Alice, and yearn for your love in return. Do you remember the first time you came to our place after your return from Missouri? We walked from Mr. Oak’s around the lake after meetings. I began to love you then, and it has been growing ever since until it fills my whole life.
Since I last talked with you on the subject I have not been very happy. The only consolation I have had is the thought if it is God’s will that we should walk life’s path together, every thing will work around all right, and if it is not his will I shall try to endure. When I have been able to keep that thought in my mind I have been contented but sometimes I loose sight of that and sometimes I doubt whether I can endure or not, and at such times the load has seemed too heavy.
I want to say a few plain words on our relationship. I am not going to say whether that old fable about the children of cousins is or is not true; but, in reading some works on marriage, I found the statement that some of the smartest people were the children of cousins. It stated also, that if cousins loved each other it was a pretty sure sign that they were adapted to each other.
If you can love me Alice, tell me so. I can not help believing that you do. I have seen a look in your eyes at times that made me feel that you do love me, and even that has brought me happiness. If through the providence of God I have possession of your love—the love of such a good and noble woman—I shall be the happiest of men; but I shudder to think of the other side.
Alice, I ask you to consult your heart and tell me what it tells you.
In love, sincerely
Leon A. Gould